This isn't my story, or her story, it's our story.

It's been a while...

It certainly has been a while since I posted on here. It seems I had a bit of a writer's block. Looking back at the things I was posting about in July though, things have only continued.

My life is confusing right now.  There's a lot going on.. A lot of reasonless hate.
That's probably my least favourite thing to hear about: "reasonless hate"

I don't know why, but I've been a prime target for bullying lately.  It's awful, and I'm literally left with no friends. I'm not enjoying my grad year, and it's really unfortunate. I guess the main problem is that I really don't care.

As weird as it may seem, I've broken it down to just that. There's so much activity and stress and people would rather focus on what other people are doing than what they are doing with their own lives. Because I appear to not care about all of it, it's making people say more. I dunno, to be honest with you I don't really wanna waste my time writing about it, because like I said, I actually don't care.

I just feel like all these petty little problems people are coming up with aren't going to matter the slightest bit in the scale of my life, and I don't want to spend a single more moment thinking about it.

Unfortunately, that's all I can think about. It makes me really mad. I'm not mad because I'm being targeted... I kinda like having a little edge, but I'm really mad that it happens. I know that I'm a really strong person, and that I can handle a significant amount of ridicule. I like me. I'm not depressed, I'm just frustrated with how the world is working.

I think a while ago I posted a poem called Acrimonious.. The idea still floats in my mind and here's a revised version:

Ambling down the frost bitten streets 

at nightfall I see preposterous light. 

The streetlights show dead bugs 

with snow whistling past

and the reflection of a sombre world in the glass.

I beg, dehydrated, for flora and fauna

My knees scraped on pavement 

and my eyes catching fire,

I am passionate.

but they glisten, hazed by corrupt flames

burning society and dignity.

Why do you, specifically, have to be so merciless?

I have so many questions

with so few answers.

I've really been in to spoken word poetry and stuff.. I think that I'm going to start blogging more again. It's a good place to put some of my work I think and maybe I'll get my creative process rolling again.

We'll see what happens, I'm sure I'll post more again tonight. Now that my fingers are rolling across this keyboard I wanna keep going. 

Talk soon, 

xoxo

Spokane

I'm going to Spokane for the weekend to look at fixtures, flooring and other miscellaneous items for our new house.

... Can't wait ...

At least our hotel has a workout room and pool.

Maybe something adventurous will happen. I'll keep you posted.

In the meantime, I leave you with this:

.

An Arbitrary Post

I like this song. I don't have a reason why.

I don't like when people mock people like this. Let her sing, she obviously enjoys it.

Those are links if you didn't notice.
I missed posting between 1 and 5 am. So I thought I would today. 

I don't understand why or how people can be mean. Like, I get that sometimes, people are just mean unknowingly and don't think before they talk, but I'm talking genuinely malicious.

I don't understand a lot of things these days... I've got a long life to live before I figure it all out though.
What's the rush?

I love love. Now, if only I could find some, anywhere in this world.

Don't Regret But Never Forget.

Exactly what the title says.
Live with no regrets. Shit happens.
I'm so sick of melodramatics. High school conflicts are so insignificant in the scale of life it isn't worth a bit of my time to think or stress over them. I think that's why a lot of them seem to revolve around me.. because I just couldn't care less. Maybe I'm just a conflicting, incompatible person. Maybe I'm crazy.
I don't think so obviously, but maybe I am. I'm not just always going to point fingers and blame everyone else.
What's never made sense to me though were rumours. I can't fathom how someone could just initiate the circulation of a story, knowingly trying to "ruin someone else's life".  No one is going to ruin my life by starting a rumour that I cheated on someone, or that my goals for the summer consist of acquiring a certain sum of "notches". I'm so beyond caring about any of it that I find it humorous, which really is a downfall because my "I don't give a shit, life sucks then you die" attitude makes people either believe whatever is said more, or makes them angry because they cannot rile me up, so they trash talk more.
Never in my life have I sat at home and pondered about what I could say about someone in order to cause them heartache. Like I've said in previous posts, seeing happy makes me happy. I don't wish heartache, misfortune or unfavourable conditions upon anyone. It doesn't make sense to me.
Hatred is a weird thing.
When something happens though, I'm all for just ignoring it these days. Once something has happened, it's over. There's nothing you can do about it, as it's in the past, and the only thing you can control is yourself once it has. There's no point in worrying about anything that has happened, in my eyes.
However, I don't think that you should forget anything that has happened either. History can and will repeat itself and everyone should learn from everyone's mistakes.
Best wishes in your life endeavours, world.

highschool.

I love to change my blog.

If you haven't noticed, I love playing around with my blog's layout  colours.
Look at all the cool stuff I am figuring out how to do. 
Click me!
OK now THAT is cool.
I look forward to putting my new post editor app. and blogging skills to use.

Gute Nacht