This isn't my story, or her story, it's our story.

It's been a while...

It certainly has been a while since I posted on here. It seems I had a bit of a writer's block. Looking back at the things I was posting about in July though, things have only continued.

My life is confusing right now.  There's a lot going on.. A lot of reasonless hate.
That's probably my least favourite thing to hear about: "reasonless hate"

I don't know why, but I've been a prime target for bullying lately.  It's awful, and I'm literally left with no friends. I'm not enjoying my grad year, and it's really unfortunate. I guess the main problem is that I really don't care.

As weird as it may seem, I've broken it down to just that. There's so much activity and stress and people would rather focus on what other people are doing than what they are doing with their own lives. Because I appear to not care about all of it, it's making people say more. I dunno, to be honest with you I don't really wanna waste my time writing about it, because like I said, I actually don't care.

I just feel like all these petty little problems people are coming up with aren't going to matter the slightest bit in the scale of my life, and I don't want to spend a single more moment thinking about it.

Unfortunately, that's all I can think about. It makes me really mad. I'm not mad because I'm being targeted... I kinda like having a little edge, but I'm really mad that it happens. I know that I'm a really strong person, and that I can handle a significant amount of ridicule. I like me. I'm not depressed, I'm just frustrated with how the world is working.

I think a while ago I posted a poem called Acrimonious.. The idea still floats in my mind and here's a revised version:

Ambling down the frost bitten streets 

at nightfall I see preposterous light. 

The streetlights show dead bugs 

with snow whistling past

and the reflection of a sombre world in the glass.

I beg, dehydrated, for flora and fauna

My knees scraped on pavement 

and my eyes catching fire,

I am passionate.

but they glisten, hazed by corrupt flames

burning society and dignity.

Why do you, specifically, have to be so merciless?

I have so many questions

with so few answers.

I've really been in to spoken word poetry and stuff.. I think that I'm going to start blogging more again. It's a good place to put some of my work I think and maybe I'll get my creative process rolling again.

We'll see what happens, I'm sure I'll post more again tonight. Now that my fingers are rolling across this keyboard I wanna keep going. 

Talk soon, 

xoxo